The first step is being self-aware. As cliche as it may sound, you can’t lead a team until and unless you can lead yourself. And leadership comes with knowledge. Knowledge about yourself - your strengths, weaknesses, inclinations, attitude, behaviour, goals, and beliefs. To build awareness, start with identifying your strengths and weaknesses. One way is to take feedback from those you think know you best. Another is to recall the challenges you have faced so far and write down what made the challenge a challenge. That would most likely be your weakness. You may also check out online strength and weakness detector tools. The goal is to learn to deal with situations where your weaknesses may become problematic for your team. For example, if you express your anger by hurling abuses or insults or mean replies to your team members, that may hurt them. Good leaders are respected because they respect others. Figure out an alternative to being hurtful.
Personally, asking for a minute works for me. That way I can work through my emotions in my head without hurting the other person while also not having to suppress my feelings. I also say out loud that I’m feeling angry. That expresses my feeling without hurting the other person. I take some time off and exit from the conversation. When I feel alright, I show my willingness to resume the conversation. That break cools me down because I divert my mind, perhaps listen to music or simply think about what made me angry, what is it that I’m not okay with. It helps to clarify that to the other person, calmly.
The second characteristic of a good leader is proactiveness. Leaders are looked up to. They set precedent. Every little thing you do will be seen and copied. When you laze around, it hurts the morale of the entire team. When you work hard, the team is likely to follow.
Finally, we think good leaders are empathetic. Specifically, that means when a team member shares with you that they will not be able to work or when the member does not work and shares with you why you don’t last out at them. You hear them out, understand their situation, and help them. Empathy is that understanding which helps you build meaningful and healthy relationships with your team. You offer your team members a safe space where they can express themselves freely. Thoughtfully responding to your team member’s situation will help build trust and comfort.
Being empathetic also means being vulnerable. Accept your flaws and accept the flaws of your team. You are all not perfect. You will all make mistakes. But you can all come out stronger if you support each other in the process.
Good leaders are people who create more leaders. Develop an atmosphere where everyone learns and grows together. Hurt, disrespect, inconsideration are hallmarks of poor leadership. You can be a good leader if you are willing to pay the price of attaining self-awareness and practicing empathy. This is hard work and demands persistence and constant practice. But you’re willing to put in the effort, you can rest assured that you will become a leader worthy of admiration.
-Shreya Minocha and Oshin Sharma
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